smile away

this summer has been amazing.
its a monday and its sprinkling and gloomy outside.
it's suppose to be hot again by next weekend, but we're comming to a close.
which is exciting.
i looking foward to fall.
amgela and i wanna escape to the beach in a month or two when no one else will think to go cuz its too cold... it'll be genius... muah hah ha.
life has been pretty amazing. it keeps getting wonderful.
i've been listening to such amazing music and have been having such amazing conversations with such lovely people.
i feel so blessed.

the only thing that saddens me a bit is that i dont feel motivated to write much these days. i miss that, but i guess the compromise is doing well in school and having real conversations with amazing people. so theres not much to complain about : )

wedding bells

my aunt Susan is getting married... yay!
i went shopping today for a dress to wear,
and i found something spectacular.
i'll take loads of pictures.

currently...

im looking deeper and i've been comming into a better understanding.
im enjoying patience.
im so much more at peace that i've ever been before.

the end of summer

its still summer, yet higher education tells us otherwise.
im excited about school.

monday i woke up tiered and
ready for school with
a pen in one hand and a coffe in the other.
i was so tiered
did my homework
i took a beautiful nap and
woke up
about four hours later
dinner was ready
i cleaned
i got ready for the next day to come
had some good late night conversation
than the phone exploded
and i promptly went to sleep

$1 tuesdays at baskin robins
turned into an extended night of
barefoot strolling, cold brews and some live music.
i came home and i was spent.
i got ready for next day to come.
took a nice shower and knocked out.

i would love to run away to the beach for a day.

i love my life.

hot fun in the summer time

things have been pretty awesome lately.
yeah... theres the occasional hormonal moments, but i get over those slumps.
those are only momentary.
i've been hanging out with friends a lot.
im pretty happy to be a full time student, cuz right now i have time off.
which is nice, i keep making plans to hang with awesome people.

angela and i are brainstorming and planning to go out of town for my birthday!
it'll be an amazing adventure, im sure of it.

i've been able to listen to my vinyl a bit more. and i've gone to a few shows.
i saw wooden birds with angela and they were spectacular. they say they'll come again, and i hope so... but they made no promises.

i've been able to hang out with melanie a lot lately and she's super awesome as well. we're making plans for a trip as well actually.

and then there's henry who's just really awesome and we've been able to talk from time to time.
i've been blessed to be able to meet such amazing people.

i'm just super stoked for all these plans in the summer. i need to make more!

i've seen the most incredible light

awesome song. and video.

made me laugh.

i'm in love with a big blue frog

i love them.

this video is entrancing

tatt's

so i want a tatt on my back, i may have shared the whole sleeping tiger and girl to you.

BUT, i officially decided that i want one on my leg as well.

(the picture above is what i want, but just the flower)

i want the flower to start at my ankle and i want black intertwined lines comming out of the nectar.

my friend angela painted on my ankle with indian ink last week and i love the lines she did. i'm going to ask her to help me collaborate.

and i want it to look realistic like this picture and have the same pink and yellow colored in.

it's over... for now.

i completed my first year back in school. and it was heavily stressful the last 3 weeks.
last semester i got B's... i'm hoping that'll become A's this semester. i'll have to wait till i hear back from my instuctor's.
this summer i feel split down the middle. i feel like im not doing much.
the other half of me is quite busy.

the busy side:
-a few shows i'm hoping to go to.
-weekend so cal trip.
-get together at my house.
-my birthday, no plans for that yet.
-voulenteer work for Watch Star.
-tolerate growing my hair long. haha.
-babysit throught it all.
-summer school july 6-30.

~maybe take a fencing class and/or tennis class.
~maybe day trips and get aways if possible.

this is the beginning of the end

this is the end classes.
classes are over and finals are here.
today i turned in my final paper for english.
it was about the music industry and i titled it: where have all the flowers gone?
i think i'll be fine in that class.
i have my math final tomorrow and i finished all my online homework.
now i have to finish the worksheets and work on the study guide.
im nervous about that test.
in the morning i have to show up and sign in to my spanish class.
i dont have to take the test cuz i have an A in the class. yay!!!

i must study now.

take me out tonight

it's 100degrees today.
i'm hot and bothered.
im gunna jump in the pool now.

-I Wish I Was Dreaming-
There's about
A few thousand thoughts
Running inside my head.
They're presistant
And consistant.
Time takes flight
As I stare for hours.
I roll my eyes
As I try to dream.
A few thousand thoughts
Are tormenting my sleep.
So I toss and I turn,
I try to rearrange
My body and
My thoughts.
My thoughts
Are now trying
To escape.
So I grab some paper
And allow them to flee.
Maybe I'll be able
To dream now.

dads

today i had a nice conversation with my dad.
he ended it with saying:
"you can be anything you want. but most of all, i just want you to be happy"

painting it clearly.

my words fall out of my mouth and land on thin ice.


i'm not even sure how to describe my words above.
thats just the clearest picture i can paint.
obviously not so clear.

pull me in tighter

so yesterday was mothers day.

i told my mother happy mothers day and i sent her a card.

dinner became uncalled for and awkward as my aunt (by marrige) talks to me about her plan to leave central cali without my uncle. and i don't know how to respond.

but the night alas was saved as my unexpected heart was delighted by GRAND DUCHY

they totally rocked the stage and it came to a bitter sweet end as only henry and i were enthusiastically cheering and clapping for them to do an encore.

but, no dice.

either way it was AMAZING!!!

as if the night couldn't have gotten more glorious... we then, as fate were to have it, we met FRANK BLACK and his lovely wife VIOLET.

we were then completely starstuck.

and i was so enthralled, i had a hard time sleeping.

i guess im back to earth now because i just had a spanish test.

but im running on about 3 1/2 hrs of sleep.

and i wish i could take a nap right about...... now.

TOTALLY WORTH IT

bye bye miss american pie.

im excited for the semester to be coming to a close.
i have a paper to write.
and im on top of it.
i have a final for math.
un examen por mi clase de espanol a lunes.
and i'm working on my presentation due on tuesday.

you can have my viking heart.

there's a lot of chaos going on in my head.
im glad i was able to take a long walk yesterday
and had alone time with my dog and with my moon.
it always clears my head.

i've been having mental distractions that occupy my time.
plus the semester is coming to a close.
so the work load is heavy right now.
and i keep wanting to escape.
but i can't.
i'm very focused in my studies
and im getting good grades.
i'm getting A's for goodness sakes.
so i'm ok.
sometimes. i just need to take a breather.
especially lately.

this past weekend was really good.
i went to an evangelism training conference for college students who want to create or progress a movement on their campus'.
it was extremely helpful and completely centered me.
i also got to spend some time with tammy, who is such a sweetheart.

lately i've been listening to music with a calmer pace. it's been mentally soothing.
i got a mixed tape last week that i really dig and i've been listening to it a lot.
there's a song on the tape that i've falling in love with. its called: the shredder, by little wings.
*sigh* it makes me melt. its such a lovely song. words cannot describe the feelings it portrays.

i'm just very grateful for all the things going on in my life right now. even all the stress.

when finals are over i want to spend a whole day at the beach.

incase you didn't know,

i was without a phone for a bit.

and yesterday

i got my sim chip yesterday.

which makes life easier.

my mom got me a blackberry.

the old school one.

its all beaten up too.

which is totally fine.

im more than thankful.

i think my storm trooper project might be happening fairly soon : )

(i found this picture online, but heres somewhat of an example of what i plan to do)

what i would love right now.

i'd love to go out tonight and just gaze at the moon and look at the stars.
that would be lovely.
if it were at a secluded beach... that would only make it better.
i just need a dose of that to shake this feeling.

annie oakley

suddenly i have a lot weighing on me.
what have i possibly gotten myself into?

currently feeling

currently:

color: aquamarine green
mood: all smiles
feeling: happy
music: ruby suns

n-->u

spur of the moment

i just wrote this freehand, spur of the moment.
i'll judge it later. and possibly hate it.

-little doll-
two halves of one doll.
perfectly stitched together.
which part is the real her?
i need to seperate the two sides
and make them match
to reveal her true self.
so when she looks
at the mirror
she's whole.
and when others see her
she can be complete.
please don't push her aside
just because shes not
fixed just yet.
you must love her
whether broken,
ripped apart, stitched
or perfectly sewn.
she still deserves
to be loved
as we all do.


my weekend was absolutely nice.

the week.

the week started out not so wonderful.
but it evolved into something lovlier.

some stuff i wrote.

im not sure if im completely content with this content.
these are just a few threads in the tapestry.

-For Me-
The letters scrambled
In my thoughts,
The words that came out
Of my lips,
Could they have
Created someone.
Someone for me?
Where did you come from
My dear?
Straight from the air?
Where will you go
My dear?
Can you stay near?
Lets go for a long
Midnight drive
And get lost
In the moonlight.

-Eyes Wide Open-
Hands over your eyes
When you're driving
Through the mountains.
Hands over your eyes
When you're driving
Through the sea.
You don't know
What you're doing
Because you're sinking
Theough the trees.
You don't know
Where you're going
When you're jumping
Off those cliffs.
Take my hand,
For you're not alone.

-N-->U-
My mind is full of thoughts
Which have all made
Last minute reservations.
Hardly any space to sleep,
just about no space
To dream.
But I sleep soundly
With sunshine on my face
While the darkness creeps
Through my windows.
You turn en's
Into you's.

the beatles are magical

today and yesterday have just felt like:
"...*sigh*"


so today i turned on the beatles.
put them on shuffle
and it turned my sigh's into sing-a-long's



thats why i absoluetly love them.
they turn my n's into u's

in order to solve this situation i have, i need to realize i wasn't the same person i am today. and i need to seperate my past self with my new self.
that will be the first step.

update!

i came up with 6 things.

5 things too much.

i need to come up with a list of 5 things that i genuinely like of my mother. a list far harder than it might sound.

i had to report miss ruby july to the campus police today.

i don't think i'll ever hear back from them since my blackberry got lost on thursday.

my new sim card should be comming within a week or so.

i can live without a phone for a while.

i've been writting.

i've been inspired a lot lately.

and i've been listening to beach house A LOT lately.

on saturday i bought an album from THE GUESS WHO and its super awesome. i totally dig it. i bought it cuz... well its the guess who... how could i go wrong. plus because i got a good vibe from the vinyl.

i'll have to post my writting later in the week.

im excited for this week.

peace--

ruby july

i lost my cellphone yesterday.
i got distracted by man.
and walked away without it.
realized it 30min later.
and it was too late.
i don't think i'll get ruby july back :(
i can live without cell.
i have before.
its just pathetic that people are assholes.

last night

was amazing.
i went to the cellar door to watch VETIVER.
richard swift opened up.
but vetiver was Wonderful.
i first heard of vetiver when patrick carrie played them on kuci
now i love them even more.
they put on a fantastic show.
it ended up being one of the 3 most magical nights in visalia.
(all which "conisidentally" happen to have live music)
i got home late and than i slept and woke up in the middle of the night, which really pissed me off.
and now im so sleepy. im glad i have a 3hr break between classes today.

i have one picture that i'll post later.

Peace.

a girl, a journal entry and the beach.

Thursday* April 9,2009
Today is a beautiful day. It's not sunny and hot, nor is it overcast. It's perfect. It's my last full day in SoCal w/ Jessica for Spring Break, last minute plans changed from Disneyland to Bagel's and the Beach. It's chilly but it's beautiful. We were lucky enough to find free parking right off of a more secluded part of Venice Beach. The rhythm of the waves and tides mixed with the chilly air blowing is so peaceful. A part of me is happpy to be getting back home tomorrow, but right now, it's just perfect.

-Thursday at Venice-

I sit and watch from a distance
As the tides come close
And fall back.
They come close
And fall back.
The wind is blowing
All around,
As the tides come close
And fall back.
The seagulls
Fly and glide and lay,
As the tides come close
And fall back.
My hair sways
Left and right,
As the tides come close
And fall back.
So peaceful is the beach,
So subtle is the sun;
As the tides come close
And fall back.

spring break 2009

im back from so cal.
i love it.
i miss it.
i adore it.
thursday was the best.

here's a clip of thursday:



song:
kurt vile
my best friends

my supression and guilt is causing emotional discomfort

so today i had another crying session on the way to school. im getting heart broken just thinking about it.
i was talking to karen. she's very helpful in digging out the feelings i have burried deep in my chest.

i hate feeling towards the sticky situation of my relationship with my mom. its always deep in my mind and weighs heavy in my heart.
im able to function daily as a productive student, avid blogger, constant thinking, requent writter, and hopefully a good enough friend to those i've grown fond of.

the thing that is eating me inside if that i constantly feel like i need to hold myself accountable for how i've acted in the past. i feel like a bad daughter. i don't love my mother enough and i dont contact her enough. i feel like my internal struggle with her will be going on for a long time.

my dad sees my mother in me when we have a disagreement which only makes it more difficult.
i'm trying to escape my attachment from her.
it's a constant battle.
im trying to live apart from her but everyone still attaches me to her. it hasn't been long.
but i hate that this is something that comes up over and over and over and over again.

the chee family seems to feel quite comfortable to still hold me accountable for my bad behavior when i was a teenager, not that it was SO long ago, but i've evolved from it. and im still trying to evolve from that state of mind.
but being the neurotic internal thinker that i am, i become tormented by comments and it plays over and over and over and over again in my head and i becomed consumed by those thoughts and comments.

about a week ago my dad and i were talking and he said im too emotional cuz i was crying. and although im a very emotional person. i felt worse that i had to defend myself, but i did. i told him its so hard for me to open up and say how i feel about something at that moment, which isnt something that im use to doing, but something he expects me to do.
although i want to and am trying to, its difficult because it's not normal for that to come out of me and for that to be expected of me. but im trying and me trying and being able to is emotional in itself because its an internal battle. i've trying to breakdown those walls. its a struggle, but i do it because i need to be that person that doesn't have a difficult time talking about my feelings.
i was never able to, asked to, allowed to share my feelings. that's just not part of the asian culture that i grew into.

in their eyes im just a disobidient girl.
in my head im trying to be a respectable woman who's honest with herself and others.

writting, even if it is to nobody, is healing because im not a hugely vocal person.

i feel like it is necissary to display myself and have my abdomon torn open and my organs shown because even if nobody stops to see whats going on, it makes me feel human. it displays that i am just human.

i dont want to be a volcano that errupts only after so much pressure and time has built up.

i wish i could stop at least one day in the week and not pile on activities to keep me distracted and just deal with what is going on. i try to cover my intimate thoughts with noise.
i feel like its a sick dream because when i do that i become a tormented person who becomes ill within her own thoughts.

the distractions. the full time student who has a heavy role in the christian club and has become a member of the honor society to keep me on my toes. and has to be careful because i have two sisters who watch what i do. and have to be the adament babysitter for my sisters. and have to create open communication with my father. who has to try and be the daughter i want to be to my mother who im still mad at. who wants to be a good citizen and help others and be faithful in my walk with God. Who wants to major in nursing with a minor in spanish and become a writer and create a book sometime before i lay in ultimate rest.

those are the distractions that keeps my mind, my heart, my sanity occupied so that i dont have to constantly torment myself with my relationship with my mom. whenever i do i break down and cry.

i cant even keep track of how many times i've gotten out of the car, walking to class with tears in my eyes and in my heart.

its sometimes feels completely overwhelming.

within all of this mess... im basically happy. and completely capable.

music

i'm in love with...

NOBEL BEAST by andrew bird

&

beach house

Time & Doubt

today was such a beautiful day.
i attended a bbq at a senior home and rehab center.
i met emma and talked to her most of the time.
i got her some food drink and snow cone.
she enjoyed herself as well as the others.
it was nice.and it was a beautiful day for a bbq.

after i got home i got inspired to write.i came up with two things.

they still feel very raw since i've just written them today. but sometimes raw is just fine.

-I'm Scared Too-
I squint my eyes
I know it's comming.
Deep in my mind
I start to panic.
Take my hand,
Let's get out of here.
"Oh no"
He says
"Lets wait it out,
Our answers come from
Within our doubt."
I want to flail away but,
You hold my hand instead
And say "it's ok sweetheart,
Im scared too."
And so we stay.
And our world
Becomes clear.

-Let's slow down-
The hours in a day.
They just slip away,
Slip away.
There's not enough time
In a day to sit for
A cup of tea.
Grabbing everything
In a hurry.
Everything becomes to-go.
The hours in a day.
They just slip away,
Slip away.
There's not enought time
In a day to just stop for
A good conversation.
We can slip pass eachother
Shake hands and
Say our names in passing
But it just seems like
The hours in a day ,
They just slip away,
Slip away.
There's not enough time
In a day to make time.
But lets try for a change.

questioning. writting. creativity. book. health. poetry.

i love when you have me questioning.
it get's my juices flowing.
it can get me in a fog of confusion for a few days.
than i figure out how i truely feel about the things you had me questioning.
and i stand stong and more certain than i did before either this or that way.
its great. i love that.

anyway. i've been trying to put time aside to write creatively. i LOVE writting. i typically write short poems. but i've written a few short stories and i like to blog because... nobody looks at it. so its like my virtual diary. haha. luckily i truely dont care.
im one of those ppl who needs to spew out my thoughts for the sake of my own sanity :)

i've decided recently that my goal in life (creavtively) is to create my own book.
i can't force myself to write a novel, fiction or non.
i can't force myself to go nuts on short stories or poetry.
i know it would be forced.
whenever i try to force myself to get the juices flowing...
it creates HORRIBLE product.
so i prefer to let it come unto itself on its own.
so if i get it publish when im 80... so be it.
this is what i want to leave.

my book will consist of doodles. pictures. polaroid pictures ( i love over 300 so far). poetry. short stories. journalings. blog entries. just completely eclectic... like me :)
i dont know if it'll be good enough to sell to the masses, but we'll see.

i've been sick from my ears lately. a week 1/2 of a double ear infection. now that i've seen a doctor and have been perscribed meds, im feeling better and the presure on my ears is finally reducing.

heres something i wrote last night when i was still unable to hear well.


-Damaged Goods-

We're all compiled into
A torn up box.
Bits and peices of
What used to be.
We are
Torn apart,
Broken & Loose,
Lost & Beaten.
We are dammaged goods.
Who will love us now?

origami

-Paper Telephone-

You're consistancy is so non-consistant.
So I fold a peice of paper while
I wait around for you.
I make an origami telephone.
I begin to pace around the room
Until the paper quivers.
I answer the phone
And we talk for hours;
Interupted by a thumping at my door.
The conversation gets shortened.
We say our good bye's
And we end our pretend.

the last few days have been confusing and im infected

so im having a mid-semester life crisis.

if it sounds impossible,

call me up and i'll let you walk in my shoes for a day.

i get that music and art coinside and live together in unison. its beautiful. i have this urg to see its beauty daily.

but what is this life all about?

why are we here?

are we here to hopefully be nice mannerful people? and are we meant to be objects of mass production consumers? or even just consumers?

we have become more and more reliant on technologies to derive our conversations. we rather get lost in the sea of txt msg'n and the internet which is as big as the ocean.

is there something greater? is there a bigger purpose? is life just black and white or is there grey area within all the air we breathe?

there has to be something greater than material goods.

all of our days are numbered. but whos to know when our number stops.

we have such a short time to figure out our purpose.

i just feel lost sometimes.





on another note, i decided to take someone's advice and write about something i dont normally write about. its kinda silly, but i kinda dig it...

-I'm Allergic to the Central Valley-
The air just seems heavier
On this side of the golden state.
Everything seems blurry.
I can't see the beautiful blossoms
And clearly, i cant see the fullness of the trees.
I feel a bit lost.
I'm comming down with an illness,
I think I'm getting homesick.
My thoughts are congested.
I need another dose of city air.

i love l.a. because

i love l.a. because:
1. it's calmer if you let it be.
2. it's noisy when you need it to be.
3. it sparkles when you least expect it.
4. it's treasures aren't always in the heart of the city itself.

cocoon

Clip cocoon chupee
by sofilms

cocoon is a lovely little french band. their music is sweet.

Dimmer

so, songs of national freedom has turned me on to so many little jems.

listen to it!

i love music. and i love hearing new things. the beatles are top notch, and there are some other untouchables, but the fun of loving music is the DISCOVERY of what you've never been exposed to... its magnificent!!!

i just got a new ipod dock today. im so happy with my new toy.

grapevine fires

life is all about taking the bad and making it into something beautiful.

hot venom.

i speak for everyone, we're sick of it.

ugh. so my "homework" is to come up with 5 things i truely like about this person. thats true and from _____'s true heart.

-im thinking that i want it all.
-my viking heart is in pain.

i need to figure out how to make them not effect my heart so much.
its too much for me to bear.
its gets me no where.
and i start sinking in a river of my own thoughts.

-the deer hunter by mayo

i miss you. im moving out back to the west coast.

so we've made a new plan.
by next summer we're moving back down south. we'll be moving to the O.C.
which im stoked about!
this last visit i had to l.a. made me realize how much i miss l.a.
like seriously.
i miss it so very much.
the vibe.
the beauty.
the grunge.
the music.
the food.
the culture.
the people.
the art.
the noise.
the helicopters.
the crazies.
the weather.
the intergrations
and seperations.

i'll be done with my classes. most of them. so it'll be a smooth transition for us all!

we're fresh, like a pair of new born kids

im in love with miniature tigers

we fit like a pair of beat up shoes, with nothing left to prove. we can be ourselves -miniature tigers (viking hearts)

l.a. is magic fantastic!

so life is really sweet right now. i went to la for the weekend.
got there on thursday night. my mom and elias picked me up from union station.
we ate at noodle world.
friday: saw he's just not that into you (and i cried, nothing new) than we met up with my aunt susan at the mall & than the three of us met up with elias, santiago, jennifer and lauren @ kabuki.
at night it got ugly. my mom doesnt know how to control her temper over the simplest of things and i'm just as guilty when it's with her. i took off. i only went back because i didn't feel right. and i didn't speak to her till the next morning. ugh. i tried to not let that effect the rest of my stay. but that sucked.
saturday: i was suppose to meet up with melorie for breakfast, but she's under the weather. so i went with elias and my mom to santa clarita to pick up his son. i stoped by a store and found some cute shoes and a bag and blouse.
than we went to Galco's the soda pop stop. and i got a whole bunch of soda. i loaded up on the caribean cream soda :)
when we got home eric and nancy came to my moms place and we had dinner. it was yum. elias made carne, my mom made sopa and tortillas and fijoles.
than gafas came to pick me up and we went to the art show in chinatown that my friend tessar invited me to because he was going to be showing one of his peices. so we went to Movers & Shakers... it was pretty cool, but i didn't bump into him. after we went to the YORK for drinks. and we just got to hang out and catch up.
sunday: i had breakfast at my moms and than just hung out for a while than jessica picked me up and we had lunch and than hung out at little tokyo. there we had yogurt at YogurtLand and than just browsed LT than after i got some curry pan (my dads request to take back home with me) we met up with Tessar and i bought a peice that shall be comming my way soon :) ... it's beautiful and so, im excited for its arrival. than after that we went to Ameoba... my FAVORITE store i've ever been to! and i only spent about 40... which is awesome... but probably only because they were closing. haha. than we went to dinner and than we went to my mom and elias' place and watched sex and the city.
monday: jessica picked me up and we had breakfast. than i went to union station. got to bakersfeild for a transfer 20 minutes late, the train left, so we had to wait. and ended waiting for 5 hours! but i eventually got home. which was nice.

i over all had a MAGNIFICENT TIME!

than on tuesday i have classes again.
i had a good day at school even thought my 2nd and 3rd class was cancelled.
i was able to get things done at those times.
than after i went to the library and listened to SONGS OF NATIONAL FREEDOM w/Patrick Carrie which i've been listening to, and is always a good time.
and than i received valentine mail. and in it theres a starbucks card and i also got a letter from school saying i've made the deans list.
ya. nothing to complain about.

i bought at ameoba:
- johnathan david: belle and sebastian
- cruel smile: elvis costello & the imposters
-limbeck: limbeck
-white magic: miniature tigers
-songs: lullaby for the working class
-gorilla: james taylor
-the legend of kung folk (part 1): the ben taylor band

than when i got home i bought what i wasn't able to buy at ameoba:
-boyd rice presents MUSIC FOR PUSSYCATS: various artists
-peaceful, the world lays me down: noah and the whale
-tell it to the volcano: miniature tigers

this is not a test or an S.O.S.

recently i've fallen in love with the miniature tigers

my favourite chords

life is nice.
im looking forward to tomorrow
and the tomorrows to come.

"you are an open door. im a faulty string of blue christmas lights" -the weakerthans.

super so good

im still sick.

i look like im possessed.

walking around with an unattentive stare.

my eyes are blood shot red.

watery beyond discomfort.

and the weather is very strange today.

a storms a commin'.

but today is kinda nice.

its thursday and my week is nearly over.

thursdays are nice.

i feel like debbie downer today.

im so missing L.A. today. and all the cool places and people and weather and wonderful things to look at. i just miss the vibe.
i've met a few nice people here, which im truely thankful for, but im a southern cali girl.

im so off beat here. i mean i truely dont care what people think of me where ever i reside or visit, but its been almost a year and it's getting to me like a itchy turtle neck i've been wearing all day.

this visit to the homeland is comming at the most perfect time.
school is clobbering down on me also. i have so much to do. for me, this is a big load... or maybe it just especially feels like it right now since im sick.

yesterday i was listening to this radio program that PATRICK CARRIE of the LIMBECK band hosts on kuci. you can even listen to it online (if you click listen now on the top right hand corner, they've got live feed) his program is on tuesdays from 2-4. on his blog it even says the song i requested. awesome. so catch it if you ever get a chance, he's awesome.

anyway, i miss l.a. im glad i'll be comming home.

karen and i were talking today. and the new plan is gunna be that my time frame from now till im done with my pre-requisites is enough of a time frame to plan our move out of the central valley and go back home to southern california.

so: listen to songs of national freedom if you wanna know why indie rock is still alive! w/ the lovely patrick carrie.

peace.

there's no rush sweetheart.

its a day to day process.
i cannot loose my mind
over this mess you made.
i'll try to help you walk along
and
i might end up pushing you over,
but i wont let you fall.
it'll be differant in the end.
lo prometo.

vegas and furthermore

the day after christmas i jetted off to vegas to visit my best friend jacquelyn. i wanted to visit her before she took a semester abroad to hong kong and she left on the 1st of jan. i didn't have a camera until after i got back home, so she sent me the pictures.

here are the pictures jacquelyn took. i miss her :(




the bird man, after a wonderful indian brunch.




glass flowers on the ceiling.




a buddist godess. she sacrificed going to nirvana because she wanted to help people, so she was granted more helping hands.

jac and her mom at the conservatory.

i love this pic. we're in front of the belagio watching the water show.

jac said thats us playing... haha.

PIC n SAVE

in front of revolution lounge

in front of the door of revolution lounge

we look slanted, like in yellow submarine.

im a beatles nerd.

the drink is lowering...

this is what the bottom of a yard looks like... btw, i asked for two extra shots (im also making a face, cuz i didnt know she was gunna take a picture)

funny face + my new feather headband.

ant music.

been in an adam and the ants kinda mood lately.

friday, im in love.

lately i've been tested and reminded why i'm here. why im at this point in my life right now.

the first week of the semester just finished, although i feel like i'll have a lot more on me, i know i can do it.
especially since last semester i took 13 units and got all B's.

this semester im excited for guitar and i still dont know if i'll get into my english class. i'll have to wait till tuesday.

i've been trying to read the book more.
im trying to practice my notes on the guitar, daily.
im trying to speak spanish more fequently.
im trying to work on what needs to be.

i claimed yesterday as my vinyl day. i cleaned and listened to vinyls pretty much all day.
yesterday i was listening to:
~ the beatles
~ peter paul and mary
~ the moody blues
~ earth wind and fire
~ julie london
~ bright eyes

i love vinyl days.