music

i'm in love with...

NOBEL BEAST by andrew bird

&

beach house

Time & Doubt

today was such a beautiful day.
i attended a bbq at a senior home and rehab center.
i met emma and talked to her most of the time.
i got her some food drink and snow cone.
she enjoyed herself as well as the others.
it was nice.and it was a beautiful day for a bbq.

after i got home i got inspired to write.i came up with two things.

they still feel very raw since i've just written them today. but sometimes raw is just fine.

-I'm Scared Too-
I squint my eyes
I know it's comming.
Deep in my mind
I start to panic.
Take my hand,
Let's get out of here.
"Oh no"
He says
"Lets wait it out,
Our answers come from
Within our doubt."
I want to flail away but,
You hold my hand instead
And say "it's ok sweetheart,
Im scared too."
And so we stay.
And our world
Becomes clear.

-Let's slow down-
The hours in a day.
They just slip away,
Slip away.
There's not enough time
In a day to sit for
A cup of tea.
Grabbing everything
In a hurry.
Everything becomes to-go.
The hours in a day.
They just slip away,
Slip away.
There's not enought time
In a day to just stop for
A good conversation.
We can slip pass eachother
Shake hands and
Say our names in passing
But it just seems like
The hours in a day ,
They just slip away,
Slip away.
There's not enough time
In a day to make time.
But lets try for a change.

questioning. writting. creativity. book. health. poetry.

i love when you have me questioning.
it get's my juices flowing.
it can get me in a fog of confusion for a few days.
than i figure out how i truely feel about the things you had me questioning.
and i stand stong and more certain than i did before either this or that way.
its great. i love that.

anyway. i've been trying to put time aside to write creatively. i LOVE writting. i typically write short poems. but i've written a few short stories and i like to blog because... nobody looks at it. so its like my virtual diary. haha. luckily i truely dont care.
im one of those ppl who needs to spew out my thoughts for the sake of my own sanity :)

i've decided recently that my goal in life (creavtively) is to create my own book.
i can't force myself to write a novel, fiction or non.
i can't force myself to go nuts on short stories or poetry.
i know it would be forced.
whenever i try to force myself to get the juices flowing...
it creates HORRIBLE product.
so i prefer to let it come unto itself on its own.
so if i get it publish when im 80... so be it.
this is what i want to leave.

my book will consist of doodles. pictures. polaroid pictures ( i love over 300 so far). poetry. short stories. journalings. blog entries. just completely eclectic... like me :)
i dont know if it'll be good enough to sell to the masses, but we'll see.

i've been sick from my ears lately. a week 1/2 of a double ear infection. now that i've seen a doctor and have been perscribed meds, im feeling better and the presure on my ears is finally reducing.

heres something i wrote last night when i was still unable to hear well.


-Damaged Goods-

We're all compiled into
A torn up box.
Bits and peices of
What used to be.
We are
Torn apart,
Broken & Loose,
Lost & Beaten.
We are dammaged goods.
Who will love us now?

origami

-Paper Telephone-

You're consistancy is so non-consistant.
So I fold a peice of paper while
I wait around for you.
I make an origami telephone.
I begin to pace around the room
Until the paper quivers.
I answer the phone
And we talk for hours;
Interupted by a thumping at my door.
The conversation gets shortened.
We say our good bye's
And we end our pretend.

the last few days have been confusing and im infected

so im having a mid-semester life crisis.

if it sounds impossible,

call me up and i'll let you walk in my shoes for a day.

i get that music and art coinside and live together in unison. its beautiful. i have this urg to see its beauty daily.

but what is this life all about?

why are we here?

are we here to hopefully be nice mannerful people? and are we meant to be objects of mass production consumers? or even just consumers?

we have become more and more reliant on technologies to derive our conversations. we rather get lost in the sea of txt msg'n and the internet which is as big as the ocean.

is there something greater? is there a bigger purpose? is life just black and white or is there grey area within all the air we breathe?

there has to be something greater than material goods.

all of our days are numbered. but whos to know when our number stops.

we have such a short time to figure out our purpose.

i just feel lost sometimes.





on another note, i decided to take someone's advice and write about something i dont normally write about. its kinda silly, but i kinda dig it...

-I'm Allergic to the Central Valley-
The air just seems heavier
On this side of the golden state.
Everything seems blurry.
I can't see the beautiful blossoms
And clearly, i cant see the fullness of the trees.
I feel a bit lost.
I'm comming down with an illness,
I think I'm getting homesick.
My thoughts are congested.
I need another dose of city air.

i love l.a. because

i love l.a. because:
1. it's calmer if you let it be.
2. it's noisy when you need it to be.
3. it sparkles when you least expect it.
4. it's treasures aren't always in the heart of the city itself.

cocoon

Clip cocoon chupee
by sofilms

cocoon is a lovely little french band. their music is sweet.

Dimmer

so, songs of national freedom has turned me on to so many little jems.

listen to it!

i love music. and i love hearing new things. the beatles are top notch, and there are some other untouchables, but the fun of loving music is the DISCOVERY of what you've never been exposed to... its magnificent!!!

i just got a new ipod dock today. im so happy with my new toy.

grapevine fires

life is all about taking the bad and making it into something beautiful.